Is Discipline a Dirty Word?
About 7 years ago our family was gearing up to begin homeschooling our oldest, and I was having a slight mental crisis over the need to have a consistent time in our days that we did school. I wasn’t wanting to give up my fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants lifestyle and I was having a little bit of a pity party about it. A schedule just felt so restricting.
Commitment often overwhelms me because I know that everytime I say yes to one thing I’m saying no to something else. It hadn’t been in my nature and I thought that blocking off time would lead to missing out. God chose to use this season in my life to bring discipline into so many areas of my life and show me that discipline actually brings freedom.
In college I had experienced the freedom of a structured day by default because my class schedule and work schedule dictated the times available to accomplish tasks, complete school work, spend with friends, etc and I found that I thrived when my brain knew it’s limitations. I’m a procrastinator at heart and have lots of ADHD tendencies so my brain actually does really well with limitations (My brain also does exponentially better without sugar or processed foods).
As I went kicking and screaming about the idea of giving up a life without rhythms, God made it clear that he had other plans for me and I chose to trust Him. I found that as always, he is trustworthy and his Word is true. Bringing rhythms and routine into our days actually meant I had so much more flexible time and that when friends asked to get together or there was somewhere we wanted to go I knew exactly when I could do it. We added discipline into our grocery shopping, our daily routines, when I accomplished tasks around the house, what our mornings looked like, what we would accomplish for school and when — making decisions about all of these things ahead of time meant my brain didn’t have to keep thinking about them. I was able to make the decision once instead of constantly needed to decide when and how these things would get done.
This concept eventually found its way into my meal planning as well. Waking up knowing what your hungry kids will eat for breakfast is so much more peaceful than waking up without a clue, and an even better side effect is that when your children can develop trust in your decision making they question your decisions less.
Tasks that would otherwise be drawn out throughout the day were wrapped up before lunch because I decided how they would get done. Meal planning at the beginning of the week meant I didn’t have to decide 21 times what we’d be eating. If we wanted to stay up late and watch a movie, hang out with friends, or scrap our Monday plans because family is in town, it’s so much easier to make adjustments and move those tasks around.
As a chronic “do-er”, I actually find a lot of rest in knowing that what needs doing is done. I can be at ease when the sink is full of dishes because I know when they’ll be getting washed. I can settle into a game with my kids or a movie with my husband because my brain isn’t running circles around what’s left to do. And better still, when I do feel overwhelmed, I’ve built the skills to create a rhythm that works.
My unstructured life left me feeling chaotic, but self-discipline has brought so much mental and emotional freedom.
